Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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