Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
