No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
