Me. At least after what I've been through.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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