i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
