Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
