is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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