you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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