You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
