I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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