Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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