I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
