the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
