Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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