One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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