I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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