They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
