Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
