Having a random hookup so left but love u
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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