I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
