You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
