Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize