So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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