Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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