508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
