I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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