doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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