and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize