One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
