In the future we'll all be gay
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
