You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
