my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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