There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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