Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
