It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
