We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize