dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
