I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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