O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
