She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize