You really coming over, don't trick.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
