She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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