what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
