Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
