Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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