Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
