Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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