i don't like sucking hair
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
