ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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