I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize