Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
