Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
