im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
