She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
