I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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